Dance Class Revelations!!

I decided that only one post on the dance class that I am currently taking was not at all enough and that it merited a second. I am in the mood to make lists so I have numbered some of the more memorable events.

1. I would say that about a quarter of all the moves Michael teaches us end in what I have dubbed the 'All Body Rub Down'. This movement consists of your hands on either side of your head and running them all the way down to your hips in a sexy way. He stopped me in class one day and said that my 'All Body Rub Down' was not sensual enough. He then showed me the formula for how to make it more sexy. Apparently I was spending too much time rubbing my hands through my hair and not enough time rubbing my sides. While we are doing this movement he is usually screaming something like, "Touch yourselves more!!" "I'm not feeling the sensuality!!" and, "More sexy!!".

2. Michael says things like, "You're gum with no sugar" to our class when he's exasperated. I'm not sure what that means, but I think it's bad.

3. The best moment of my week came when Michael told me I was doing well while shaking my butt and shoulders at the same time. I live for that small nod of approval.

4. Sometimes, when I think about what it must be like to watch a room full of women do complicated serpentine movements with their torsos (badly!) I begin laughing so hard I cannot continue. Michael does not approve.

5. Even though Michael wears tight magenta wifebeaters and socks with sandals I still think he's the cat's pajamas.

6. I wish I could explain to you the fantasticness of changing in the bathrooms while watching a room full of chunky Nicaraguan women wrap each other in giant plastic sheets, like an oversized tensor bandage, before class to burn more calories.

7. Not all the floorboards in the room are even. So just when you think you've hit your latino body groove you trip over the floor and fall on your face. It's like immediate karma for thinking that you're better than you actually are.

8. A Dutch man came to film our class yesterday to do a program on Nicaraguan women's exercise habits. Everyone dressed up for his arrival. My friend Isa took the opportunity to dress sexy in an attempt to snag our teacher as her boyfriend. I tried to tell her that anyone you humiliate yourself in front of 4 out of 7 days a week is beyond trying to date.

9. MICHAEL IS NOT GAY!! I realized this when we started talking a lot after class. Although he dances like a gay man, he is not actually gay. I do have consensus from other class mates that to get a class as good as this one in Canada the teacher would for sure have to be gay.

10. There are usually a couple of guys who stand at the door and watch the class, shouting encouragement to the ladies. I don't worry that they're looking at me, they're for sure looking at the girls at the front of the class who are actually good. As a side note, I spend so much time concentrating on Michael's bottom half to get the steps right, I've probably spent more time staring at his butt than anyone else's.

We had a party last week for Micheal's birthday. We all chipped in to buy a couple of cakes. I didn't realize at the time that no one knew how to spell his name and they wrote "Maki" on one cake and "Maycol" on the other. It was so cute. For Nicaraguan women, no excuse is a bad excuse to throw a party.